Thoughts, feelings, ideas I have...though some are a bit mad.
Can I change the opinion??
Published on July 16, 2004 By Lengirl In Blogging
I think back to school days and remember sitting with two or three other people at lunch then heading to the library...I was a studier, I spent half my life during that time in the library.(this did drop when I started uni though...as many would tell you) I had friends, but I wasn't one of the 'popular girls', I didn't care, I think that's what annoyed them about me so much, the fact that I didn't give a shit what they said or did. I just got on with my own thing. I've never been a 'move with the group' type of person, I've always been happy doing my own thing at my own pace. This is my past but lately it has been making me think about me now...

I've been thinking what is about people that makes you like or dislike them. I don't think of myself of a perfect person but I don't think of myself as horrible. Yet that said there are a few people who I could mention who do not hold me in high regard...at all. I've been trying to think about what I did on first meeting that would have caused these people to end up disliking me? I talk a lot, but I am well educated and think of myself as an intelligent young woman so generally speaking my conversation is not boring. Yet I have obviously made a bad impression on these people to make them feel this way about me. That said why do my friends like me? I am the same person in both situations however one goes one way and the other..well you get the drift. I don't expect everyone to love me, but I don't expect people to loathe me. Let's face it, we all have people who dislike us and honestly some would be for good reason, but the whole?

Maybe sometimes it because you break into an established group of friends and are considered an outsider by a few of the members, (except the one or two who originally brought you in) and this feeling never really changes. You never get given a chance to be accepted, it as if some people feel they have enough friends and don't really have time for anymore. I don't like upsetting people, (as my boyfriend will tell you) I basically try not to do it. I complain to him instead or I get really quiet and a little moody. Maybe this isn't the right path either, mayber that's a reason why some people end up disliking others, because you are not honest with them but above all with yourself.

I don't truly expect to be loved ,liked or even appreciated by everyone nor do I expect to be best friends with them all. I too would have to admit that there are not enough hours in the day to do that, I would just like to be thought of as a nice aquaintance. anyway enough yabbering on... later

Comments
on Jul 16, 2004
It's interesting, isn't it? I had a friend who was telling me 'You HAVE to meet so-and-so. You two will get along so well' and when we met we instantly took a disliking to each other. Couldn't explain why. Maybe we were too similar, or similar enough that our differences were really obvious and pissed each other off. Who knows? I honestly don't dislike this girl, I just don't like her and won't choose to spend time with her, nor her with me. There is no rational explanation as she seems to be a nice girl and hasn't done anything to invoke my wrath, I just don't like her.

So maybe there are just people you aren't supposed to be friends with. Another of my friends thinks that you should befriend these people you are repelled by as there is something you need to learn about yourself which is reflected in them, but that seems like too much hard work I too don't expect everyone to like me. Life isn't that way and it's different horses for different courses. It's quite liberating knowing that you don't have to please everyone - takes a bit of the pressure off.

Good article! Thanks for the comment on my blog, and nice to meet you!

Suz xxx
on Jul 16, 2004
Maybe we were too similar, or similar enough that our differences were really obvious and pissed each other off


I think this is true, they say that when we see ourselves in others we see the bits we don't like, so maybe this is why we get that 'feeling' about certain people. I agree that there is no rational reason, but maybe that's the point, it's just something that is not meant to be. I think the important thing is to realise that it's okay and as long as we can be civil when required nobody get's hurt.

I keep remembering the saying...'be true to yourself', a little sappy I know, but worth remembering. If you're not happy with yourself or your actions then how can we expect anyone else to be.

Thanks for reading...xox
on Jul 16, 2004
I know exactly where you are coming from with this. I think I have the kind of personality where people love me or hate me, there doesn't seem to be any middle ground. I don't know what it is about me, but some people just really dislike me. I'm pretty confident, and opinionated, and I talk alot, but I think I balance it as I am capable of listening to other people, and learning from other peoples views. I guess we can't be friends with everyone!
on Jul 16, 2004
If you're not happy with yourself or your actions then how can we expect anyone else to be.


So true. But then there is also finding the balance between accepting who we are and becoming a little TOO accepting of who we are where we begin to think that we couldn't ever possibly be the problem in the situation. Life is so much about walking fine lines - it does my head in, I tell you!
on Jul 16, 2004
It's a balancing act. that we never escape from..and people wonder why I enjoy a drink or three.