What to do when a 'friend' asks a favour
(I posted this article a while ago then thought it I shouldn't have put it where anyone - like the person involved - can find it, but then I realised that this is my blog and I want/need to unload things like this here...so take 2)
So it's been a few days since I last wrote. That friend I told you about has gone (the one who was telling tales about staying with my partner and I, being all smiles about it then telling everyone else how much she was hating it...and how I found out). Well she confronted me about why I was being so distant and cold with her. She was ready to have a big yell at me for being so rude. Boy did she crumble when I let her have it. She really did, burst into tears, kept telling me I know her and I should know that she's not like that. I was really proud of myself, I didn't get upset at all, I kept calm and was actually the adult. What really gets me though is that I took the higher road and ended the whole affair by saying lets put this whole thing behind us. Then truth of it is though that I haven't, I can't. It's happened and is going to affect my future jugdment calls in relation to this girl.
The only reason I decided to end it all was to get out of there as I felt like she was still lying about it. She kept saying she didn't tell anyone anything bad about me etc, but I have some very damning evidence that says she a lying through her teeth. I asked her to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, here was her big chance. You know what, she couldn't do it, she couldn't look me in the eyes. My Mum always said that the eyes are the windows to the soul and that this is where you can tell if someone is telling the truth. I didn't believe my Mum till I got told the same thing in Psych class. Hmm well anyway I decided that it wasn't worth the effort to keep going, I said let's let bygons be bygons and move on. So she left on Sunday, now today I get a message asking if she can come back to stay for a while.
I think I have to say no, not because I don't like the girl, but because I don't trust the girl. She's fun to have a few drinks with, a few general conversations but no longer is she someone I want to associate with on a deeper level. I don't want her staying at my house. What makes me mad is that I feel bad about this, I hate being unfriendly to people, but there comes a time when I have to be selfish and put my own feelings first and those of my partner, (as he would have to put up with me being moody). This also annoys me as it is very 'highschool' drama and I left highschool a long time ago, when will I get to a point where I no longer feel like this? Will it be a good thing? It's also got me thinking about what she said, 'You know me, I wouldn't do that', As I said before I can prove she did undoubtably do the things she denies. Yep, I sure know her don't I? The question is though, did I ever? If it's any consolation I think she's learnt that she doesn't know me either, I'm obviously not the big pushover she tought I was, so that's it, I've decided the answer is No.
so my question after all that is, do we ever really grow up? These 'immature' acts seems to follow us everywhere, can we ever escape?